网吧里最让你目瞪口呆的一幕~>_<
<p><span>在网吧,有个十二、三岁的小孩在玩魔兽世界，突然大叫“老爸，有人打我！”我们在场的 <br />各位诧异，心想，魔兽里也有人认老爸？ <br />就在此时，网吧另一头传出一个中年男子的声音：“儿子，在哪？我在！！”网吧众人皆 <br />晕。 <br />数分钟后，中年男子叫到：“儿子我们打不过他们，他们装备好，快跑！”众人狂ft。 <br />又过了一会，一位中年女子进了网吧，四处张望，然后径直走向那个男孩，拎起男孩耳朵 <br />就骂：“你不是去老师家补课了吗！？”男孩一手护着耳朵一手指向网吧另一边，呼：“ <br />爸爸也在！”其母惊讶，望去，果然！立马责问：“你不是去加班了吗？” <br />网吧里众人晕死n次！ <br />其父辩解道：今天双倍经验。 <br />其母大喜且怒曰：还好老娘请假过来看看，要不然晚上你们父子两个等级就超过我了， <br />双倍经验也不发短信通知我？晚上回去有你好看！那个谁？哦，儿子，别怕，妈来了，妈 <br />开大号来挺你。妈就不信我们母子两个搞不死丫的！ <br />围观者皆叹曰：有妻若此，夫复奈何；有母如此，子复何求。佩服！实在是佩服! </span></p> <p>可可!!!</p><p>实在不行,爷爷开大号来杀!!!</p> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><font face="宋体" size="3"><span style="font-size:10pt">一农户明天杀鸡，晚上喂鸡时说：快吃吧，这是你最后一顿！第二日见鸡<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></font></div><div class="Section1" style="layout-grid:15.6pt none"><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span style="font-size:10pt">已躺倒并留遗书：爷已吃老鼠药，你们也别想吃爷，爷他<span lang="EN-US">M</span>也不是好惹的！<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10pt"><p> </p></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span style="font-size:10pt">蜈蚣被蛇咬了，为防毒液扩散必须截肢！蜈蚣想：幸亏偶腿多！！大夫安<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span style="font-size:10pt">慰道：兄弟，想开点，你以后就是蚯蚓了。<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></font></pre><p class="MsoNormal"><b><font face="宋体" size="2"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:10.5pt;font-family:宋体"><p> </p></span></font></b></p><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span style="font-size:10pt">大哥大与子母机结婚生下小灵通，小灵通面目可憎，信号奇差，又不能漫<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span style="font-size:10pt">游，不能互发短信，伤心欲绝，经<span lang="EN-US">DNA</span>检测，才发现其亲爹不是大哥大，是对讲机。<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10pt"><p> </p></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10pt">8.</span>大象把粪便排在了路中央，一只蚂蚁正好路过，它抬头望了望那云雾缭绕<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span style="font-size:10pt">的顶峰，不禁感叹道：呀啦唆，这就是青藏高原……<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10pt"><p> </p></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10pt">9.</span>飞机上，乌鸦对乘务员说：给爷来杯水！猪听后也学道：给爷也来杯<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span style="font-size:10pt">水！乘务员把猪和乌鸦扔出机舱，乌鸦笑着对猪说：傻了吧？爷会飞！<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></font></pre><p class="MsoNormal"><b><font face="宋体" size="2"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:10.5pt;font-family:宋体"><p> </p></span></font></b></p><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10pt">11.</span>八戒正在月球上搂着嫦娥献媚，忽见一人藏在铁罐里从眼前飞过，嫦娥<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span style="font-size:10pt">惊呼：有人偷看我们隐私！八戒问：是高老庄派来的吗？嫦娥答：还好，是杨利伟。<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" color="#000000" size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10pt;color:black"><p> </p></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10pt">12.</span>大黑熊将一个蜂窝放到水里，想把蜂窝里的小蜜蜂泡出来。谁知道蜜蜂<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span style="font-size:10pt">出来后就追得大黑熊满世界乱跑。<personname productid="熊" wst="on">熊</personname>太太见状大骂：就你那个笨熊样，还敢泡小蜜？<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></font></pre><p class="MsoNormal"><b><font face="宋体" size="2"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:10.5pt;font-family:宋体"><p> </p></span></font></b></p><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10pt">14.</span>警察正在处理一个违章的司机<span lang="EN-US">.<p></p></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span style="font-size:10pt">司机<span lang="EN-US">:</span>您就把我当个屁<span lang="EN-US">,</span>放了吧<span lang="EN-US">~<p></p></span></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span style="font-size:10pt">警察笑笑说<span lang="EN-US">:</span>不<span lang="EN-US">,</span>憋着<span lang="EN-US">!<p></p></span></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10pt"><p> </p></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10pt">16.</span>尊敬的用户您好<span lang="EN-US">:</span>您的话费余额已不足一元了<span lang="EN-US">,</span>请您在近日内卖儿卖女卖大<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span style="font-size:10pt">米<span lang="EN-US">,</span>砸锅卖铁卖点血<span lang="EN-US">,</span>卖房卖地卖情人<span lang="EN-US">,</span>把手机费交上<span lang="EN-US">.</span>中国移动给您磕头了<span lang="EN-US">!!<p></p></span></span></font></pre><p class="MsoNormal"><b><font face="宋体" size="2"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:10.5pt;font-family:宋体"><p> </p></span></font></b></p><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10pt">17.</span>猴子在散步时拣到一张卡<span lang="EN-US">,</span>上写<span lang="EN-US">:50</span>元<span lang="EN-US">.</span>刚拣起卡<span lang="EN-US">,</span>天上一个雷把它劈死<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span style="font-size:10pt">了<span lang="EN-US">.</span>上了天堂<span lang="EN-US">,</span>猴子问上帝<span lang="EN-US">:</span>为什么劈我<span lang="EN-US">?</span>上帝说<span lang="EN-US">:</span>看你拣的是什么卡<span lang="EN-US">?</span>猴子一看<span lang="EN-US">:IP</span>卡<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10pt"><p> </p></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10pt">18.</span>昨天我梦到你了<span lang="EN-US">,</span>真的<span lang="EN-US">,</span>天空是那么明净<span lang="EN-US">,</span>阳光是那么明媚<span lang="EN-US">,</span>大海是那么一望无垠<span lang="EN-US">.</span>你站在蔚蓝的海边<span lang="EN-US">,</span>我拿小棍一捅你<span lang="EN-US">:</span>嘿<span lang="EN-US">,</span>这小王八<span lang="EN-US">,</span>壳还挺硬<span lang="EN-US">!<p></p></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10pt"><p> </p></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span style="font-size:10pt">你倾国倾城万人迷<span lang="EN-US">,</span>一回头孤魂野鬼皱眉头<span lang="EN-US">;</span>二回头千年哑巴一声吼<span lang="EN-US">;</span>三回头姚明改打乒乓球<span lang="EN-US">;</span>四回头杨过爱上李莫愁<span lang="EN-US">;</span>五回头万里渤海鱼不游<span lang="EN-US">;</span>六回头尼姑从此用飘柔<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10pt"><p> </p></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10pt">24.</span>传说你可狠了<span lang="EN-US">,</span>在戏院里横躺着占<span lang="EN-US">4</span>个座<span lang="EN-US">.</span>别人叫你起来你却只哼了两声不<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span style="font-size:10pt">动地方<span lang="EN-US">.</span>保安来了说<span lang="EN-US">:</span>朋友<span lang="EN-US">,</span>够狠啊<span lang="EN-US">!</span>哪条道上的<span lang="EN-US">?</span>你咬牙说<span lang="EN-US">:</span>楼上过道摔下来的<span lang="EN-US">!<p></p></span></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10pt"><p> </p></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10pt">25.</span>自称是武林高手的你的口头禅<span lang="EN-US">:</span>想当年我拳打南山敬老院<span lang="EN-US">,</span>脚踢北海幼儿园<span lang="EN-US">,</span><chmetcnv wst="on" tcsc="1" numbertype="3" negative="False" hasspace="False" sourcevalue="1" unitname="米">一米</chmetcnv>以下全部放倒<span lang="EN-US">,</span>往太平间上一跺脚<span lang="EN-US">:</span>不服的给我站起来<span lang="EN-US">!</span>没一个敢喘气的<span lang="EN-US">!<p></p></span></font></pre><p class="MsoNormal"><b><font face="宋体" size="2"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:10.5pt;font-family:宋体"><p> </p></span></font></b></p><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size:10pt">28.</span>不要跟我狂，我大哥秦始皇；<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span style="font-size:10pt">不要给我装，我后台党中央；<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span style="font-size:10pt">不信你不服，拉登是我叔，<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></font></pre><pre><font face="宋体" size="3"><span style="font-size:10pt">先轰炸再下毒，老美都得服。<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></font></pre><p class="MsoNormal"><b><font face="宋体" size="2"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:10.5pt;font-family:宋体"><p> </p></span></font></b></p></div> <p>无语了,,,都去笑了,</p> 终极一家 呵呵 笑死我了~！ 是不是真的，这一家子够强的。 俺估计这一幕 很可能在俺未来十几年之后滴家庭中诞生~~~~~~~~
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